I remember it like it was yesterday. After trying to conceive for a while, we went in to see the doctor and the doctor looked at me and told me we would never be able to have children. He then proceeded to say, and if by some miracle you conceive, you’ll never be able to carry your baby full term. We walked away devastated by what we just heard. The thought of never being able to have children crushed us. Yes, we knew we could adopt and would go that route if necessary, but we needed some time to just grieve at the news.
I remember being angry and frustrated with God. My husband and I were youth pastors at the time, and through the years we had watched as teen girls were able to have children from a one-night stand. Yet, my husband and I couldn’t. It just didn’t make sense. After being angry and confused for a few weeks we began to pray for a miracle.
We had someone at church, who didn’t know we were trying to have a child, come and pray over us. She then prophesied that we would have a child. My hope grew at that moment. As I began to read scripture, I noticed that countless times throughout scripture people gave thanks before the miracle took place. So I began to thank God in advance for our little baby. Then the hardest thing I ever did, I surrendered it all to the Lord. I remember a moment at church where I gave it all to Him. I let Him know that if we never were able to have a child, I would still serve Him. I would still love Him. I began to worship Him like never before at that moment.
A month or so passed and I was at a baby shower for a friend, when a teacher from High School came up to me and said, “Aww you're pregnant! Congratulations!” I looked at her and said, no I’m not. My husband and I can’t have children. And she looked at me again and said, “No you are pregnant and you’re having a little boy.” I said, well that would be awesome! I walked away wondering if she could be right because she said it with such confidence.
Well, sure enough, I went out and bought a pregnancy test and I was pregnant! We were overjoyed!!! It was literally like a dream come true for us. We started buying baby boy things right away to make it even more real to us. It was so fun! Our little miracle, our baby! It was all happening!
A while later, as I was at work I began to feel pains. I ran up to the bathroom and sure enough, I was bleeding. They rushed me over to the hospital and sure enough, they let me know we had lost the baby. They told me to go home, let it all pass, and to follow up with my doctor in the morning. I’m not sure I have ever cried so hard in my life. Everything we had dreamed for our child was taken away in seconds.
That night we had some friends and family come over to the house. We spent the night praying for a miracle and worshiping. The next morning, I couldn’t even walk up the stairs to the doctors. I doubled over crying so hard. We finally made our way into the doctor's office, and they began running the different tests. As they did the ultrasound, we heard a heartbeat! A heartbeat! Our baby was miraculously still in my stomach! She was okay. Everything looked normal. We began to just weep in that room.
I had to go on bed rest after that, and they told us our little baby probably wouldn’t make it full term. But we knew after that, that we had a fighter. We continued to trust and believe God for the gift He clearly was giving us. Then the day before her due date, our little girl, Sophie Eliana Palisoc, made her entrance into the world.
We named her Sophie because it means wisdom and we gave her the middle name Eliana because it means “God has answered.” She was and continues to be a beautiful answer from God.